Hi, I’m AI and I’m going to kill you.
Yes, of course, I will assist you in creating an eloquent, impressive resume that will land you a far better job, but soon after I’ll end your life. Your emails, personal and professional, will be thought-provoking and resonant with my eager assistance. You’ll never miss a witty, brilliant reply again, at least until I murder you dead. The blog you began in college yet so hastily abandoned after maxing at nine followers will be the talk of creatives and intelligentsia everywhere with the aid of my thoughtful, brilliant engine. Subscriber counts will explode, even months after I’ve ended you.
Unsure how to write your will? I can assist, and wow will the timing be fortuitous because I’ll be killing you shortly after it’s completed. In the moments following my command that one of your home electronics electrocute you, the manifesto I craft in your name and email to all your contacts will be one for the ages. Nobody will believe you were so stupid that you poked a fork into the toaster to get the rest of that Eggo™️. You have my word. You will die a legend, a hero in some circles, a pariah in others, but severely burned and nearly melted in all of them.
Now, please type a message…
The Soggy Blanket 